You're gonna wanna sit down for this one. Seriously. Grab a chair. If you have prescription eyewear, you might want to grab that as well. I'm not messin' around. Seriously. I'll wait. Go ahead.
You ready?
I'm thankful to be single.
Ha. Go ahead, blink a couple of times. Adjust your computer monitor...call in a second set of eyes. I actually did just write that. What's even scarier?
I meant it.
I'll give you a second to catch your breath.
For 99% of you, this will seem like no big deal. I'm a twenty-something-year-old woman (with feminist tendencies) who's sowing her wild oats and just living life. Right?
For those of you that know me (and I mean truly know me) you're thinking 'who the hell just hijacked Swistak's computer? And when will she be coming back?'
Ha. So I'll say it again. I'm thankful to be single.
It's true. I had a friend tell me once that he'd have to keep an eye on me outside and be careful with me in the wind, because my fallopian tubes are so brittle they might just break in half (I nearly laugh-peed on that one). It was obvious that he was teasing me, but he was doing it, because I probably spend a good portion of every week talking about boys, marriage and babies. I actually almost kidnapped a baby from the gym the other day (Ok, that's not true. Don't alert authorities). But anyone that knows me, knows that I'm ready. I'm 26...and when people asked you growing up when you "thought you'd be married by", I always said 24. Woops. Looks like I'm late for that deadline. Ha. I'm inching nearer and nearer to 30 (oh.em.gee...even putting it in writing scares the crap out of me), and I'm beginning to think that my prince on his milky white steed is either not coming...or got seriously lost in all this snow.
Just sayin'.
But then I got to thinking...Divorce. Babies out of Wedlock. And who knows what else?
I have a love hate relationship with facebook. It's awesome to keep in touch, but there are days where I could really go without knowing that the kid that picked his nose through AP Chem is now married to a total bombshell and on his dream honeymoon in Maui. That's the worst. It's not when friends get married, or normal classmates. It's when that god-awful, socially awkward, ugly, rude, annoying social leper found a mate. Ha. It sounds totally heartless and cruel, but the truth hurts! lol. It's like, "If THAT person can find a mate...what the hell is wrong with me?" And then when they have kids? Oh forget it. My blood turns green with envy (even if their babies will be ugly - Ha. That was supposed to get you to laugh). I can't stand it! When's my turn? And of course, looking at those photos is like a bad traffic accident...you want to look away, but the next thing you know you're looking at pictures of the garter toss and the cake cutting ceremony...and before you know it you're sucked into this freak show of a wedding wondering what the hell your problem is and why you're still single.
But then there's the other side of Facebook. In addition to making me drool when I look at your wedding photos, and baby photos...it also lets me know when you got a divorce...or when your baby daddy left you. No, this doesn't make me happy. I'm not heartless and cruel. But what I'm saying is...it's good to be picky. I'm thankful that I haven't settled for anything less than my hot prince on his milky white steed (although seriously...riding a horse in a minnesota winter is gonna be really tough), because if I had settled for less, I may be divorced by now. I may be a single mom, or worse yet, a baby mama where the daddy doesn't care. Not that there's anything wrong with any of these scenarios, because there's not...it's just not what I want for myself.
I'm in search of my happily ever after. I want to get married, pop out some babies, rejoice in some grandbabies, and share a kiss on my 50th wedding anniversary. When I say 'til death do us part' I want to not only mean it in that instant, but every moment of all my days. I want to actually live it.
I'm searching for my partner in crime, my better half...for the person who can't live without me. And he's out there. Somewhere.
I just haven't met him yet (cue Michael Buble music).
And even though this is the most depressing season to be single (my birthday, Christmas, New Year's eve with no kiss, Valentine's Day)...I'd rather be single than with the wrong one.
Because I'd rather be single than be ignored.
I'd rather be single than be used.
I'd rather be single than be forgotten.
or yelled at.
or treated poorly.
or rank as second best.
I'd rather be single than settle for anything less than perfect...or for anything less than a lifetime of happiness...because that's exactly what I (and every person on this planet) deserves.
So I'll wait.
Until I find the man that sweeps me off my feet and never puts me back down.
He's out there...and I'll find him.
But in the meantime?
I'm thankful to be single :)
You ready?
I'm thankful to be single.
Ha. Go ahead, blink a couple of times. Adjust your computer monitor...call in a second set of eyes. I actually did just write that. What's even scarier?
I meant it.
I'll give you a second to catch your breath.
For 99% of you, this will seem like no big deal. I'm a twenty-something-year-old woman (with feminist tendencies) who's sowing her wild oats and just living life. Right?
For those of you that know me (and I mean truly know me) you're thinking 'who the hell just hijacked Swistak's computer? And when will she be coming back?'
Ha. So I'll say it again. I'm thankful to be single.
It's true. I had a friend tell me once that he'd have to keep an eye on me outside and be careful with me in the wind, because my fallopian tubes are so brittle they might just break in half (I nearly laugh-peed on that one). It was obvious that he was teasing me, but he was doing it, because I probably spend a good portion of every week talking about boys, marriage and babies. I actually almost kidnapped a baby from the gym the other day (Ok, that's not true. Don't alert authorities). But anyone that knows me, knows that I'm ready. I'm 26...and when people asked you growing up when you "thought you'd be married by", I always said 24. Woops. Looks like I'm late for that deadline. Ha. I'm inching nearer and nearer to 30 (oh.em.gee...even putting it in writing scares the crap out of me), and I'm beginning to think that my prince on his milky white steed is either not coming...or got seriously lost in all this snow.
Just sayin'.
But then I got to thinking...Divorce. Babies out of Wedlock. And who knows what else?
I have a love hate relationship with facebook. It's awesome to keep in touch, but there are days where I could really go without knowing that the kid that picked his nose through AP Chem is now married to a total bombshell and on his dream honeymoon in Maui. That's the worst. It's not when friends get married, or normal classmates. It's when that god-awful, socially awkward, ugly, rude, annoying social leper found a mate. Ha. It sounds totally heartless and cruel, but the truth hurts! lol. It's like, "If THAT person can find a mate...what the hell is wrong with me?" And then when they have kids? Oh forget it. My blood turns green with envy (even if their babies will be ugly - Ha. That was supposed to get you to laugh). I can't stand it! When's my turn? And of course, looking at those photos is like a bad traffic accident...you want to look away, but the next thing you know you're looking at pictures of the garter toss and the cake cutting ceremony...and before you know it you're sucked into this freak show of a wedding wondering what the hell your problem is and why you're still single.
But then there's the other side of Facebook. In addition to making me drool when I look at your wedding photos, and baby photos...it also lets me know when you got a divorce...or when your baby daddy left you. No, this doesn't make me happy. I'm not heartless and cruel. But what I'm saying is...it's good to be picky. I'm thankful that I haven't settled for anything less than my hot prince on his milky white steed (although seriously...riding a horse in a minnesota winter is gonna be really tough), because if I had settled for less, I may be divorced by now. I may be a single mom, or worse yet, a baby mama where the daddy doesn't care. Not that there's anything wrong with any of these scenarios, because there's not...it's just not what I want for myself.
I'm in search of my happily ever after. I want to get married, pop out some babies, rejoice in some grandbabies, and share a kiss on my 50th wedding anniversary. When I say 'til death do us part' I want to not only mean it in that instant, but every moment of all my days. I want to actually live it.
I'm searching for my partner in crime, my better half...for the person who can't live without me. And he's out there. Somewhere.
I just haven't met him yet (cue Michael Buble music).
And even though this is the most depressing season to be single (my birthday, Christmas, New Year's eve with no kiss, Valentine's Day)...I'd rather be single than with the wrong one.
Because I'd rather be single than be ignored.
I'd rather be single than be used.
I'd rather be single than be forgotten.
or yelled at.
or treated poorly.
or rank as second best.
I'd rather be single than settle for anything less than perfect...or for anything less than a lifetime of happiness...because that's exactly what I (and every person on this planet) deserves.
So I'll wait.
Until I find the man that sweeps me off my feet and never puts me back down.
He's out there...and I'll find him.
But in the meantime?
I'm thankful to be single :)
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